I've been on Spring break for a few days now...it's weird, because it feels like unemployment. I'm dressed to go running, but I haven't gone yet. I somehow hurt my foot yesterday. Weird, right? I don't know how. I really would like to go running. I'm going to participate in a 5k to benefit Gerard in May. It's a walk/run, so that'll make my slow running a lot more acceptable. I'm not concerned; a year ago, there's no way I'd have been able to run a 5k, but now I regularly run 4-5 miles every time I go, so I'm set. YAY.
I know I'd better go soon, but I'm fixating on WebMD for the time being. I don't like these websites, because my insurance hasn't kicked in yet, and they just make me paranoid. Let's not forget, I'm extremely unlucky when it comes to health issues. EXTREMELY. I could go year-to-year and name some of the strange issues I've faced in the past 5 year. Right now, I have intermittent severe abdominal pain that I've been trying self-diagnose/treat for 5 months now, but I can't seem to pinpoint it, and I have no idea what triggers it. I've tried changing the foods I eat, sleeping more, sleeping less (because I'm capable of over-sleeping), exercising more, all those things that one would think would improve my health, but I can't seem to kick it. The weird thing is: it's not constant---it happens once or twice a month, doesn't matter what time of day, and I can't do anything to stop it. It lasts for an hour or two, and then it's over, although I'm still sore afterwards. It's the strangest thing. I know it doesn't necessarily coincide with my period or my bowel issues (although it has?), so that throws out a few theories. I really don't enjoy it, so I would like to get rid of it. It's only happened in the company of others once (aside from Jacob) and that was about a week ago when I was in KC. But my biggest fear is that it will happen when I'm at work, because it literally renders me immobile. I usually spend an hour or two in the fetal position until it's lessened up enough for me to move around. And, well, Jacob isn't exactly a nurturing person, so he doesn't know how to deal with me. So I need to get this fixed ASAP. The moment I have healthcare, I plan on making a doctor appointment, but as for now, it's just research on my own time.

Glad I got that off my chest; it's been bothering me for a while. Know any gynos? Any proctologists? Can a sister get some relief?

Here's my problem with blogs: I love attention. I do. That's no secret. So I love the possibility of getting instant gratification from the things I write. But the problem is that I need to journal about some things that I can't tell some people. Like the confidential situations of my students---I can't put that information out there, because that's illegal. But I have to empty mind mind, or else that stuff just rolls around in there, fermenting, and that's not something I want to come out in the classroom. Or secrets. I can't blog about secrets, because then they wouldn't be secrets anymore, now would they? But sometimes I have to, because they're driving me crazy. I don't like keeping an actual journal, because sometimes our little brothers steal them and read them and tell all their little friends. That happens to everybody, right? Anyway, I used to have an Open Diary, and then a Xanga, and I used to put all kinds of secrets on those, and I even kept the privacy settings on, but it doesn't matter; people find stuff out. Whatever. I'll try harder with this one.

I can't wait to get a dog.

Only two and half months until we move! I'm going to paint the master bedroom. Maybe this color. Or maybe this color. Anything that will match the floors that are this color. Right now the walls are this color. Well, sort of---they're in that scheme, just with a lighter tint. I think they're too cold and they'll make me depressed more easily. I'm color sensitive. I don't like purplish blues. I'm a much bigger fan of turquoise. Always have been. And fuschia. Especially when they're heavily saturated. But the rest of the colors in the house are very nice. I don't think I'll change them for a while.

Anyone know where I can find an intaglio printing press?

Yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi

Done with my first week of work! I'm sad that it was Addie's last day, and now I'll be all on my own. I'm a little nervous about all of the things that I'm going to have to remember. But I think it'll be ok. Today we got to watch Bolt, and that was really cute. I also ate a ton of food, so that was fun too. We also made ice cream as a science project, which made all of the kids happy.
I wore a Who t-shirt today, and all the kids really liked it. One boy asked me if liked rock and roll music. He also asked me if I would be mad if he threw a bug at me. I said, "Of course!" He said, "Oh. Mr. Probst told me I should bug you."

That's all.

Work for REAL

So I got a real taste of what I'll be doing. All in all, it's not going to be that bad. I've been shadowing another para named Addie, who is fantastic, and it's been really educational for me. Unfortunately, this is her last week. I will hopefully be taking her place, since I'm getting familiar with her classroom throughout the week. There are only six students in this particular class, three boys, three girls. It's a great class for me to start out with, as there aren't any violent students right now. They seem to really like me already. There are two different teachers, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, so it's interesting to see that. My real responsibilities include taking care of all the paperwork, i.e. reports, that have to be done throughout the day. Also, I would be in contact with different departments and be taking care of scheduling certain appointments. Mostly, I'll be doing a lot of supervision---either during lunch or during detention, along with escorting them back and forth between buildings. I don't have CTI training yet, which would allow me to immobilize though certain holding techniques, so it puts me in a good place to learn, but not force responsibilities on me right away.
Yeah, that's what I got out of the first day. I think I'll really enjoy myself at this job.

work?

I started work at New Dominion today---I couldn't find any pictures, but here's a link to the website: http://www.nexustreatment.org/treatment/gerard/g_tours_nds.htm

I learned a lot of information today and got my staff keys and stuff like that. I didn't actually work with any kids today, and that was ok, since I haven't been trained for that yet. I'm really glad that I'm going to be a TA, and not a counselor, because I'll more likely be working in a classroom setting and not in a residential one. The HR office in which I had to fill out my paper work was right above the most troubled unit, which currently is 9-14 year old boys, so I got a taste of all the screaming, etc. that goes on. I also learned that my only AIDS risk would be if a child bit me hard enough to draw blood...but that only happens every few months or so....
I'm actually really excited to be in the classroom and learn all of that. I'll get trained on proper protocol, which is really the thing that I'm most concerned about. I just don't want to screw up, because these kids can't afford for me to do that. But I think everything will be ok, and I'm sure that I'll really like this job. Working around mansion will be cool too, since it's a historic building. Also, I like that all of the different residential units are named after French cities or regions, like Bordeaux and Normandy. I like French things.
I hope to get involved in some of the art activities; from what I can see, the kids really flourish in that department.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to this...7:15 tomorrow morning.

Goodness gracious

I haven't had a blog in a while. The reasons being:
A.) I tend to talk too candidly and let stuff slip that I shouldn't. I also developed a potty mouth a few years back. Which is often problematic.
B.) I feel the need to complain when I have an open forum, and nobody wants to read about that.
C.) A blog makes me feel as though I'm documenting nothing, since my life isn't all that exciting, which subsequently launches me into another existential crisis. I've been in a state of nearly constant existential crisis for three years now.
But I'm going to try.
I've got a lot going on right now, and since I''m returning from a rather lengthy "vacation" (often known as "unemployment" in most cultures), it might be beneficial to start documenting my experiences. And considering I'll be working with emotionally traumatized children, I'll probably need to vent every now and then.
They put the SOLD sign on our house this past weekend. It's strange to say that we have a house. The weird thing is that I've been having a lot of anxiety about it. Not about the moving or the inspection (which went really well), but the whole prospect of having to make a new place feel like home again. Granted, Jacob and I could make a cardboard box feel like home if we needed to, as we've both lived in dorms for many years, but I finally feel settled here. I'm one of those people that likes to have a very established sense of "home." Now that I don't live with my parents and am no longer is school, it's a really important thing for me. I don't know why; I'm really odd in that way.
I'm really odd in a lot of ways. I notice my idiosyncrasies a lot more lately. Compared to most people, my habits are extremely bizarre. For example, many of my life's decisions are strongly affected by color and atmosphere. And I assign colors to numbers when I count, which I didn't realize was unique until someone pointed it out.
We just got back from KC today. I'd write about it, but for the sake of decency, I won't. We hung out with Jacob's closest friends. Enough said. My dad and brother Erik joined all of us at a bar in Overland Park, so it was nice to see them. And I got to see Alison (and Reed) on her birthday and actually give her a present on her actual birthday, and not 5 months later. We also got to visit the Nelson Atkins art museum, which was a very nice treat for me, since I relish every opportunity to experience culture. We spent the rest of the day driving back home, and now I've got to prepare for work tomorrow.
WORK. YES YES YES YES YES.
Maybe I won't be quite as excited about this next week...
Here's the best picture of our new house. I love the wood floors. The big topic of discussion between Jacob and I is now where are we going to get enough furniture to fill this thing. Also, what are we going to name our future dog? We both really like border collies (since Jacob has had some experience with them), so he decided if we get a boy dog, we'll name it Linus, who, like Jacob, has a beloved blue blanket. It's also a LOST reference, but since I've rejected that show, I've rejected that explanation as well. He thinks Lucy would be good for a girl dog, but it's too common and neither of us have a strong connection to it. I thought "Maebe" (maybe) would be be better, since we both enjoy Arrested Development. But I'm still thinking; this is a big deal to me.