Ugh.

I need to write in this more. Since my last post, I got married and got a different job, and was in, like, four shows.
Too much. I'm terribly inconsistent.

Be more constructive with your feedback

I am so terrible at keeping up with this. I do try, though. Occasionally.
Last I wrote, it was shortly before my week off. I needed that week off. Work is quickly becoming much more difficult. It's almost hard to describe. Imagine training for an extremely difficult position for six months, then learning within a few weeks that your entire position has changed and no one can help you. That's where we all are right now. And one of the teachers I work with is extremely incompetent, which irks me to no end. I like to think of myself as a quasi-intellectual; no Jean-Paul Sartres, but intelligent, nonetheless. So, working with a teacher who is completely oblivious to anything resembling knowledge is more than a little irritating. Plus, I am constantly degraded and "tattled on" for trying to do my job. It's a power-control thing, which is utterly ridiculous, considering this is a similar issue which we address with our 10 year old EBD kids. So I'm pretty drained. The teacher I enjoyed working with has moved on to another position, which stressed me out for a while, but luckily, he was replaced with a college friend, so I feel pretty fortunate to have someone with which I can communicate easily. I spent today organizing our classroom, something I haven't been able to effectively do since I started. I also recently started the kids on a big collaborative art project. It's hard to describe, but I'll post pictures of it once we finish. Everyone seems to be very impressed and I'm so proud of the kids.
I still love our house and I still love Linus. We've been spending our time playing Beatles Rock Band and the Ghostbusters game. Not much else has happened. I've seen my family a lot lately. Work has been a lot more consuming than expected. I do love my co-workers for the most part, so I wouldn't dream of leaving any time soon. However, I've been more inclined to become a stay-at-home mom lately...
Wedding planning is stressing me out for no particular reason. In fact, it only seems to be manifesting itself in my dreams. The other night, I dreamed that my wedding dress had poofy sleeves. Where did that come from? I'm not even entirely interested in planning this whole ordeal. But, I am aware that it will be a pretty large affair, so I've still got to get my act together...
I had a pretty eventful happy hour earlier tonight, so I'm pretty inclined to fall asleep right here. Better stop before I get myself into trouble. Au Revoir...

Back to Black

After a much needed break, I have officially returned to blogging. I think my last one was a short recount of Jacob and my engagement, and that was forever ago. There's been a lot going on in our lives as of late, so I'll try to fill you in, and provide adequate pictures.
To begin with, Jacob and I finally moved into our house in mid-late June, with the help of my brothers and Starla and Nick Theimer, who drove all the way from Topeka to help! Jacob's dad and his sister Kelsey drove up (from Newton) to move us from our two bedroom apartment to our four bedroom house. Everyone was so incredibly helpful, and we were incredibly grateful. It made us feel instantly at home, and that feeling continues. :)
There are a lot of perks to living in a house. I absolutely love the layout of the house, not to mention the hardwood floors. It's just altogether lovely, and I'm happy to come home to it every day. We have a laundry chute, so that greatly reduces the amount of clothes on our bedroom floor. And speaking of bedrooms, ours is HUGE. And beautiful. We painted it green because I'm color sensitive and figured I would be easily depressed if the room remained icy blue. Unfortunately, a tornado hit the other side of town while we were painting and we lost power (which we actually didn't know about until the next day). Luckily, Jacob got the day off and finished the room.
It's also nice to have room for everything that looked awkward in the apartment, like our dining room set. Also, I've even been able to plant a garden---it was a lot later than most gardens, so I'm just now beginning to get vegetables, but organic bean seeds have really come through for me, as I'm getting some nice beans these days.


Speaking of coming home to something great, another perk of living in a house is the ability to have dog. We added Linus Tully (middle name pending) Hunerdosse to our little family on July 12th. He was just 7 weeks old when we picked him up. He's a Gordon Setter, so very similar in type to Belle, although his coloring is different. For all the poop and pee I've had to clean up, he's actually a wonderful puppy and we love him very, very much. He follows me all over and gets into mischief. But he is my puppy, after all, so it makes sense. I know I said that before about all my other pets when I was a kid, but he really is mine. I bought him, and I've assumed the role of pack leader, so that counts for something. And we go for walk/runs together, which is something 11-year-old Katie never did with Belle. He's hilarious; we'll be running, and he'll just lie down in the middle of the sidewalk and get dragged for a few seconds. I'm usually horrified, until he hops up and acts like it's a big joke. Nerd. I also taught him how to sit and shake when he was just 8 weeks old. He also waits for food now, and he's working on "dancing pretty." For those of you who might be wondering, he does have a blue blanket. He also has a Koala and Smeagol the Beagle, which were won for him by playing SkiBall at the county fair.
Unfortunately, Jacob's maternal grandfather passed away in July, which was especially disappointing as I had not yet met him, and we were planning to finally meet over Thanksgiving. He had to leave for the funeral for a few days, so that was difficult. I had a hard time being at home by myself, but we were able to work through it.
On a more positive note, our dear friends, Adam Stange and Rachel Prijatel, were married on August 1st in Northfield, MN. It was an absolutely beautiful wedding and an awesome reception, both of which were held at the Grand event center. It was an old opera house, so it was really a cool environment. I was a bridesmaid and Jacob was the best man, and despite an extremely awkward speech given by him, we both had a great time. And we're very happy for the Stanges!

We've actually been busy every single weekend for the last two months, and it won't stop until October. Apparently when you grow up, you forfeit your weekends. Luckily, I have the week off next week, so maybe I'll write more then.

Finger bling

So Jacob and I are engaged now! HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not that I didn't know it was coming. I think EVERYBODY knew it was coming. Except my mom. And that was our plan the whole time, believe it or not. We actually started shopping for a ring back in February. He bought the ring in March. But he waited until now so that he could properly ask my dad's permission, albeit in the men's restroom of a country club. Nice.
Oh, and congrats Mom!

Miami was fun, although it rained the whole time. CONGRATS TO DR. JOCELYN HUNERDOSSE!!!

Happiness

I love everything right now. Everyone and everything.
I need to come home more often. I miss home.
We're not sure about those puppies---they're Gordon Setters, which are a lot like Belle, who was an English Setter, and not Australian Shepherds, but they're $500 a piece. That's pretty pricey for a backyard breeder in Minnesota. But I don't mind.
MIAMI TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ted Devenue Freestyle

The song is actually "10th Avenue Freeze-out." But I thought it was about a dance move created by some guy named Ted Devenue.
Whether you're a Bruce Springsteen fan or not, he's absolutely incredible in concert. Once you see, you just like him. I always enjoyed him before, but now he's just plain awesome. Also, as young girl who struggled with insomnia, I watched a lot of Conan, so it was just short of a life-long dream to be in the same place as Max Weinberg (although his son had to fill in for the first part of the show so the E-Street band could practice shows without Max, since he'll be starting with the Tonight Show pretty soon.) Anyway, I completely enjoyed myself. And Jacob had a great time too.
We were all set to buy a border collie puppy today, but found out that it had already been spoken for after we arranged to go meet it. Just for fun, we still went to go see the puppy. He was really, really fat, but sweet, so I'm sad that he won't be my puppy. But it was fun anyway. Plus, we found out that another Hormel employee will be selling Miniature Australian Shepard puppies in a few months, so we'll probably be going that route now. If you didn't know (and we all know that I would know), Australian Shepards are very, very closely related to Border Collies, as they probably came from the same original breed. And after reading up on them, they sound exactly like what we were looking for---energy, affection, and intelligence. And since they're miniature, they'll be a little easier to handle, only weighing 20-40 lbs. So I'm making Jacob contact this guy tomorrow, because I don't want to lose another puppy to someone else.
I love puppies.
ONLY 2 MORE DAYS UNTIL VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the last time I posted, I was blissfully unaware that my beloved dog of 12 years had died that morning. Jacob was gracious enough to clear his schedule for the evening and comfort me. If you're not a dog person, it's a hard thing to understand. Luckily, most of the people I work with are crazy about animals, so I got a lot of hugs and comfort there. I'm still just shattered. Belle was the most beautiful dog in the world...to me, anyway. I told Jacob, "That dog has been better to me than any person in my life." Not to offend anyone, but it's true---dogs never say anything cruel or hurtful or do anything mean or neglectful. They just love you. And Belle loved me. And I loved her. It's been a week, and I'm still crying a little bit about it. Hopefully our future puppy will ease the pain. The silver lining is that Jacob is willing to consider an English Setter now.
I'm really enjoying the nice weather, but I've got my annual spring cold. It happens every year. The problem with this one is that it coincides with a) the swine flu, and b) me teaching an art project. It's one of those colds that mostly involves a sore throat, which is just awesome.
Also, one of the most troubled kids just moved into our class. Luckily, she's doing well so far, and she really likes art. And I haven't been punched in the face yet! We'll see how long that lasts.
I'm looking forward to Miami so much right now. I really need a break; I've been so crabby lately, mostly because of my dog, and I need to get away before we go through all the craziness of moving.
Oh, speaking of moving---I bought a new dining room table! NO MORE UGLY TABLE! I found it on Craigslist, actually. A guy in Rochester was selling the table, 4 chairs, and a buffet, which included a wine rack, all for $650. He even hauled it to our apartment for free! And I bought it all myself. I'm so proud of it. I can't wait to host dinner events.
That's my update for now.

This is one of those weeks that I just want to be done with. The kids are needy and naughty this week. Gross. It makes me tired. Also, I've been having abdominal pain throughout the day both today and yesterday, and I could hardly walk into the building today. It's a hard thing to explain to people, so it just made life awkward again.
Last night I helped out one of my co-workers and went with her to a Mary Kay meeting. She just recently became a consultant, and I've always wanted to use Mary Kay, I just have never had a consultant...or a steady income. They gave me a make-over and it was fun. Also, a few people from the credit union were there, so it was nice to see them again. But I'm reminded every day how much I like my new job.
Let's see...what has happened to me in the last few weeks? I don't even remember...I'm just tired right now. This abdominal thing is exhausting; I took a two hour nap today. It did make me feel a lot better---I went for a nice long run afterward, and that was nice.

Crap. There's only a few weeks left until Miami and I'm very fearful of wearing a swimsuit.

wha..?

Tell me this: how did Vin Diesel become famous? He's relatively unattractive and not a great actor and he kind of looks like Sphynx cat. Yeah I get the whole thing about him being ripped and everything. I get that: he has muscles. So do attractive men. Maybe he's just too fast and too furious for me.

blah

I'm kind of stunned that my last blog had so many spelling and grammar errors. SO WEIRD. I'm usually pretty reliable when it comes to that kind of thing.

I think I'm going to start teaching art tomorrow. Not just coloring book projects or making posters with Sharpies. Art. Art history. Technique. YES. I've compiled a number of images...ok, a TON of images to start talking about art history. I'm so excited. I feel like when I'm in the class, I need to be doing something instructive.

I don't take crap from these kids. I want them to be excited, but if they can't handle themselves during class, I'll have them stay after and go over the material again. Yeah, that's right: I'm a hard-ass.

I need some sleep. 6:45 is really early, especially when I haven't had to be anywhere at any particular time in the last two months. My body likes to stay up late, but after work I just crash. I need to reset my internal schedule.

WOoooooooooo I got a paycheck last Saturday. Hadn't had one of those in a while.

I think that's all.

so long, cable

Our cable went out on Wednesday afternoon. It's ok; we've been meaning to upgrade, since we were paying for the wrong thing for almost a year. It's just very boring, since I had a schedule down: Cold Case Files on A&E pretty much all day. I guess it's ok since I know now that I can stream MPR The Current radio station, and I can also find it on the radio on a good day. So now I can finally get back into music...after 5 years of ignoring anything new. Plus, it has a nice blend of old and new, so I won't have to be shocked into a new music scene. I realize that I had been looking forward to living in Minnesota in order to take advantage of Minnesota Public Radio for a long time, and I never did, until yesterday. One of my college friends actually volunteers at the Current right now, so that's something fun to think about.
Yesterday I went to Rochester for no particular reason. Since we've got an anniversary on Easter this year, I have no idea what Jacob and I are going to do as far a celebrate. So I bought him some cologne as a gift and just gave it to him yesterday. I wanted to get him cologne for a long time, since he really doesn't wear any and I prefer it when men where cologne, as smell is your strongest sense when it comes to memory. Wouldn't you want to be remembered as smelling good? Anyway, it's Dolce and Gabana Light Blue----I chose it because it smells like sophistication (and not farts). Jacob likes it because Light Blue is the color of Blanket. So we all win.
I'm going through another phase of pure Jacob infatuation. This happens every so often. It must be spring or something. I suppose that happens in long relationships. We tend to get along pretty well, consider I'm messy and he's neat, and it varies how much, I suppose. Sometimes we meerly tolerate each other; sometimes we're inseperable. Last night, he tried to put boogers in my hair, which he thought was funny, but it made me cry, because I really don't like boogers. Most of the time, we just enjoy each other's company. Geez, I'm getting obnoxious. But I do like that boy. It really must be the weather that's making me so naseatingly cutesy.

I am so heat/light/color sensitive that it astounds me. So many of my daily decisions are based on how cold I am, what the lighting situation is, and what colors I fancy at that particular moment. CRAZY.

I've been on Spring break for a few days now...it's weird, because it feels like unemployment. I'm dressed to go running, but I haven't gone yet. I somehow hurt my foot yesterday. Weird, right? I don't know how. I really would like to go running. I'm going to participate in a 5k to benefit Gerard in May. It's a walk/run, so that'll make my slow running a lot more acceptable. I'm not concerned; a year ago, there's no way I'd have been able to run a 5k, but now I regularly run 4-5 miles every time I go, so I'm set. YAY.
I know I'd better go soon, but I'm fixating on WebMD for the time being. I don't like these websites, because my insurance hasn't kicked in yet, and they just make me paranoid. Let's not forget, I'm extremely unlucky when it comes to health issues. EXTREMELY. I could go year-to-year and name some of the strange issues I've faced in the past 5 year. Right now, I have intermittent severe abdominal pain that I've been trying self-diagnose/treat for 5 months now, but I can't seem to pinpoint it, and I have no idea what triggers it. I've tried changing the foods I eat, sleeping more, sleeping less (because I'm capable of over-sleeping), exercising more, all those things that one would think would improve my health, but I can't seem to kick it. The weird thing is: it's not constant---it happens once or twice a month, doesn't matter what time of day, and I can't do anything to stop it. It lasts for an hour or two, and then it's over, although I'm still sore afterwards. It's the strangest thing. I know it doesn't necessarily coincide with my period or my bowel issues (although it has?), so that throws out a few theories. I really don't enjoy it, so I would like to get rid of it. It's only happened in the company of others once (aside from Jacob) and that was about a week ago when I was in KC. But my biggest fear is that it will happen when I'm at work, because it literally renders me immobile. I usually spend an hour or two in the fetal position until it's lessened up enough for me to move around. And, well, Jacob isn't exactly a nurturing person, so he doesn't know how to deal with me. So I need to get this fixed ASAP. The moment I have healthcare, I plan on making a doctor appointment, but as for now, it's just research on my own time.

Glad I got that off my chest; it's been bothering me for a while. Know any gynos? Any proctologists? Can a sister get some relief?

Here's my problem with blogs: I love attention. I do. That's no secret. So I love the possibility of getting instant gratification from the things I write. But the problem is that I need to journal about some things that I can't tell some people. Like the confidential situations of my students---I can't put that information out there, because that's illegal. But I have to empty mind mind, or else that stuff just rolls around in there, fermenting, and that's not something I want to come out in the classroom. Or secrets. I can't blog about secrets, because then they wouldn't be secrets anymore, now would they? But sometimes I have to, because they're driving me crazy. I don't like keeping an actual journal, because sometimes our little brothers steal them and read them and tell all their little friends. That happens to everybody, right? Anyway, I used to have an Open Diary, and then a Xanga, and I used to put all kinds of secrets on those, and I even kept the privacy settings on, but it doesn't matter; people find stuff out. Whatever. I'll try harder with this one.

I can't wait to get a dog.

Only two and half months until we move! I'm going to paint the master bedroom. Maybe this color. Or maybe this color. Anything that will match the floors that are this color. Right now the walls are this color. Well, sort of---they're in that scheme, just with a lighter tint. I think they're too cold and they'll make me depressed more easily. I'm color sensitive. I don't like purplish blues. I'm a much bigger fan of turquoise. Always have been. And fuschia. Especially when they're heavily saturated. But the rest of the colors in the house are very nice. I don't think I'll change them for a while.

Anyone know where I can find an intaglio printing press?

Yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi

Done with my first week of work! I'm sad that it was Addie's last day, and now I'll be all on my own. I'm a little nervous about all of the things that I'm going to have to remember. But I think it'll be ok. Today we got to watch Bolt, and that was really cute. I also ate a ton of food, so that was fun too. We also made ice cream as a science project, which made all of the kids happy.
I wore a Who t-shirt today, and all the kids really liked it. One boy asked me if liked rock and roll music. He also asked me if I would be mad if he threw a bug at me. I said, "Of course!" He said, "Oh. Mr. Probst told me I should bug you."

That's all.

Work for REAL

So I got a real taste of what I'll be doing. All in all, it's not going to be that bad. I've been shadowing another para named Addie, who is fantastic, and it's been really educational for me. Unfortunately, this is her last week. I will hopefully be taking her place, since I'm getting familiar with her classroom throughout the week. There are only six students in this particular class, three boys, three girls. It's a great class for me to start out with, as there aren't any violent students right now. They seem to really like me already. There are two different teachers, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, so it's interesting to see that. My real responsibilities include taking care of all the paperwork, i.e. reports, that have to be done throughout the day. Also, I would be in contact with different departments and be taking care of scheduling certain appointments. Mostly, I'll be doing a lot of supervision---either during lunch or during detention, along with escorting them back and forth between buildings. I don't have CTI training yet, which would allow me to immobilize though certain holding techniques, so it puts me in a good place to learn, but not force responsibilities on me right away.
Yeah, that's what I got out of the first day. I think I'll really enjoy myself at this job.

work?

I started work at New Dominion today---I couldn't find any pictures, but here's a link to the website: http://www.nexustreatment.org/treatment/gerard/g_tours_nds.htm

I learned a lot of information today and got my staff keys and stuff like that. I didn't actually work with any kids today, and that was ok, since I haven't been trained for that yet. I'm really glad that I'm going to be a TA, and not a counselor, because I'll more likely be working in a classroom setting and not in a residential one. The HR office in which I had to fill out my paper work was right above the most troubled unit, which currently is 9-14 year old boys, so I got a taste of all the screaming, etc. that goes on. I also learned that my only AIDS risk would be if a child bit me hard enough to draw blood...but that only happens every few months or so....
I'm actually really excited to be in the classroom and learn all of that. I'll get trained on proper protocol, which is really the thing that I'm most concerned about. I just don't want to screw up, because these kids can't afford for me to do that. But I think everything will be ok, and I'm sure that I'll really like this job. Working around mansion will be cool too, since it's a historic building. Also, I like that all of the different residential units are named after French cities or regions, like Bordeaux and Normandy. I like French things.
I hope to get involved in some of the art activities; from what I can see, the kids really flourish in that department.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to this...7:15 tomorrow morning.

Goodness gracious

I haven't had a blog in a while. The reasons being:
A.) I tend to talk too candidly and let stuff slip that I shouldn't. I also developed a potty mouth a few years back. Which is often problematic.
B.) I feel the need to complain when I have an open forum, and nobody wants to read about that.
C.) A blog makes me feel as though I'm documenting nothing, since my life isn't all that exciting, which subsequently launches me into another existential crisis. I've been in a state of nearly constant existential crisis for three years now.
But I'm going to try.
I've got a lot going on right now, and since I''m returning from a rather lengthy "vacation" (often known as "unemployment" in most cultures), it might be beneficial to start documenting my experiences. And considering I'll be working with emotionally traumatized children, I'll probably need to vent every now and then.
They put the SOLD sign on our house this past weekend. It's strange to say that we have a house. The weird thing is that I've been having a lot of anxiety about it. Not about the moving or the inspection (which went really well), but the whole prospect of having to make a new place feel like home again. Granted, Jacob and I could make a cardboard box feel like home if we needed to, as we've both lived in dorms for many years, but I finally feel settled here. I'm one of those people that likes to have a very established sense of "home." Now that I don't live with my parents and am no longer is school, it's a really important thing for me. I don't know why; I'm really odd in that way.
I'm really odd in a lot of ways. I notice my idiosyncrasies a lot more lately. Compared to most people, my habits are extremely bizarre. For example, many of my life's decisions are strongly affected by color and atmosphere. And I assign colors to numbers when I count, which I didn't realize was unique until someone pointed it out.
We just got back from KC today. I'd write about it, but for the sake of decency, I won't. We hung out with Jacob's closest friends. Enough said. My dad and brother Erik joined all of us at a bar in Overland Park, so it was nice to see them. And I got to see Alison (and Reed) on her birthday and actually give her a present on her actual birthday, and not 5 months later. We also got to visit the Nelson Atkins art museum, which was a very nice treat for me, since I relish every opportunity to experience culture. We spent the rest of the day driving back home, and now I've got to prepare for work tomorrow.
WORK. YES YES YES YES YES.
Maybe I won't be quite as excited about this next week...
Here's the best picture of our new house. I love the wood floors. The big topic of discussion between Jacob and I is now where are we going to get enough furniture to fill this thing. Also, what are we going to name our future dog? We both really like border collies (since Jacob has had some experience with them), so he decided if we get a boy dog, we'll name it Linus, who, like Jacob, has a beloved blue blanket. It's also a LOST reference, but since I've rejected that show, I've rejected that explanation as well. He thinks Lucy would be good for a girl dog, but it's too common and neither of us have a strong connection to it. I thought "Maebe" (maybe) would be be better, since we both enjoy Arrested Development. But I'm still thinking; this is a big deal to me.